Types of teachers

I respect teaching profession and all my teachers. This one is just for entertainment purpose. Let's shoot.

1. Domestic tale-tellers

These are generally the female teachers who just don't know how to differentiate home and work. They can relate any home affair with their teaching.

'You know particles in a solid stick to each other like a family. Every family should have a strong bond, and one should always be very cautious about the activities of your sister in law who can influence your mother in law to her side.'

' In case of substitute goods, if the price of one rises, the demand for the substitute increase. Like tea and coffee. Like my elder son used to like tea very much. He did not drink coffee at all. And then he saw Deepika in Nescafe ad shaking coffee in a tumbler, and he left tea and started drinking coffee.'

2. I don't give a damn types

They don't care. They just won't listen to you no matter what you are saying.

'Madam, I do not understand this point. Can you explain it again?'
'Okay, I will explain it. Now go back and sit on your seat.'

'Sir, Ram and Leela are making out in the last bench'
'What? Okay, I will see to it. You now go back and sit on your seat.'

Neil Armstrong, 'Madam, one day I will become the first man to step on the Moon.'
'That's good Neil. Now go back and sit on your seat.'

Issac Newton, 'Sir, this apple fell on my head. Do you think there could be a scientific reason to explain that?'
' Don't try to act smart Neil. Go back and sit on your seat and hand over that apple to me.'

3. Accidental teachers

They do not belong here. Unlike the 'I don't give a damn types',  they teach and teach. But when they try to explain a thing, you know that they do not belong here. They generally ask rhetorical questions after every teaching point. 'Got it?', 'clear?', 'understood?', and you end up thinking in your mind. 'Okay, leave us, did you get it?' Jokes apart, you do feel sorry about these teachers because they do try very hard but are just not meant to be teachers.

4. The conventionalists 

Generally the history or political science teachers. They are the heritage of the school or college. Their are the preservators of culture and tradition. Everything about them is old and wrinkled , their looks, their teaching style, their examples which are as ancient as them They probably do not know internet. They probably talk on a landline or use a pager, or worse, a blackberry.

5. Split personality type

On the first day, they have such an impression on you that you think they are the sweetest, the loveliest specimen of human beings.  When you discuss the new set of teachers with your friends, you tell them. 'This teacher is sweet. I am not worried about her.'  And the next day she punishes you for sneezing.

And this goes on during the course of your course that you do not understand their personality. They switch from being Amrish Puri to Alok Nath, and back again, in no time.

6. The duty bounds

They are good people. No matter what happens, they would be focused on coming to the class, and giving a lesson.

They also have this unique quality of converting every situation into a learning experience.

'Madam, it is raining outsides. Please don't teach today.'
'Alright. (Students about to scream with joy) but write a 200 word essay on why you enjoy rains.'

Someone comes from outside and informs
'Mam, emergency. There is fire in the school building '
'Don't worry. The fire brigade will take care of it. (Facing her class) Now who will  tell me what number do you dial to call fire brigade?'

7. The favourites

Everybody likes them. They teach well, they are sweet, they give you time to do your stuff, they make you laugh, they protect you from other teachers. But just in case, you do not like them like the rest of others, you become an outcaste. You are made to feel like a North East guy in North India or a Punjabi in South India, or worse a gentleman in Uttar Pradesh.

8. The English teachers

I think they are a special specimen. All the English teachers I have seen has some unique characteristics which are so particular to them. They have a wide smile, showing all their teeth.  They have a subtle humour and they follow it with a wide smile showing all their teeth. They are very polite. They would always greet you with a wide smile showing all their teeth. They are good listeners. They do not interfere when you are talking. And when you finish they give a wide smile showing all their teeth. Gosh, won't they make great models for tooth paste advertisements?

9. The motherly types

Your mother is your first teacher and your teacher is your second mother. These teachers take this concept just a little too seriously. They will always be giving you an advice regarding your ways of doing things.
'Do not drink cold water after sports
'Meditate for at least 10 minutes every day.'
'Please use some protection, Ram.'

And you are wondering in your mind that ' Babes, if I wanted to spend 24 hours with my mother, I won't have taken admission into a school.'

10. The lazy bums

Generally the Hindi or social studies teachers at primary level. They enter your classroom, sit on their chair. And they stay there till the bell rings. They would give you some work like copying from the book and would not bother with your lives thereafter. It suddenly becomes a recreational class. You can socialise with people, you can sketch your favourite cartoon character, Issac Newton can devise the theory of gravity and Ram and Leela figure out on how to get an abortion.

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I hope you enjoyed this post. Do share in the comments section which type of teachers you acquitted the nost and the types I missed.