12 Golden Rules To Parenting In India

  The role of a teacher is just not transmission of subject knowledge, but it extends to making the child a complete individual, drawing out the best in the child's personality. This task  cannot be accomplished on its own; the role of parents play a vital part.  One of my moving complaints regarding parenting in India is that there is not much talk about it. Few parents read a book on parenting. Few attend discussions and workshops on the subject. Few consult an expert in case of a problem with their child.

This does not imply that Indian parents are miserable at the job of parenting.   Indians are righteous and upright people as a community . They are emotional and religious by nature. Hence there is immense love and attachment for family and children. But parenting is a complicated job. Behaviour of a child is unpredictable. The factors that affect a child's life are dynamic and a parent has to be aware about these before trying to find a solution. Because Indian lack the tendency of talking about parenting and bringing up children, these problems are left like open wounds, made worse by the nose poking society we live in.

Parenting is an art. To be good at any art, one needs to learn the basics, the fundamentals, the general norms associated with it. I have prepared a list of 12 golden rulew for Indian parents:

1.  Recognise your child as a different individual than you:

A child comes out of his/her mother's womb, and is a  different indivual. Treat him/her like one.

2. Do not try to live your life through your child's life:

Your parents night have made this mistake. It's typical in India. One must remember that we have a right only on our life and not somebody else's, even our children. We can offer advice and aid, but should not impose them.

3. Mind your language:

The is important for two reasons. First, you don't want your children to learn bad words when they are young. Second, saying bad things to your children when you are angry leaves a great impact on children. It affects their personality for years to come. So, mind your language when talking to your children.

4. Express your love
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Indiams lack the art of expressing love. a kiss on the forehead or cheeks, a pat on the back, a simple hug can do wonders to the confidence of your child.

5. Understand their world:

Generation gap is tough to bridge. But as parents are gemerally the more experienced and learned people in this relationship , they should take the initiative of bridging it. They should be aware of all the factors that affect their children. But they should do so from a distance.

6. Motivate them;:

Go for positive motivation as far as possible. This would develop confidence in then. to direct yourself to the right girl.

7. Show confidence in their decisions :

Involve your children in decision making. Ask them for their advice on small matters like which colour should they use to paint the wall , or where to go for vacations. You may not listen to everything they say, but do explain to them why you sre rejecting their suggestion.

8.  Give them their right to err:

Especially important with teenagers. It is an age of storm and stress. Children can behav:e very weirdly at this age Try to understand them. Give them some space. Even let them make a few mistakes. This is how we all learn.

9. Avoid direct talks:

Never start a discussion with 'what is your problem?' They are children, not experts. Most times they lack the ability to know or explain their problem. So be wise, have develop an atmosphere of healthy communication where they express themselves and in that way, split out what is bothering them.

10. Take help if necessary:

As I pointed out earlier in this article, never shy away from talking about the art of parenting,   read literature associated with parenting and take expertise help from counsellors and experts in case of a problem with your child.

11. Set the right example:

Children look up to you as their role model. Be the person you want your children to be. If you expect your child to hsve healthy habits, you cannot be telling them so with a lot cigarette in your hand.

12. Love; the secret ingredient to parenting:

The secret ingredient to parenting is of course love: never shy away from expressing it.